Some might consider sex toys as only inanimate objects, but they do help in a lot of ways - from getting an orgasm to sexual liberation.
The world of sex toys is not only limited to dildos and vibrators. Chains, whips, body chocolate anal plugs, massage oils and many more fall under the category of pleasure.
According to expert Dominic Mabaso, founder of Hunny Bunn - a Black-owned South African-based online sex toy company, here is what you need to know:
Why do people use sex toys?
The main reason is to spice up their sex lives - be it "solo-dolo" or with a partner. For that self-exploration, what better way to get to know your body than to take the time to tease out every "ooh" and "aah" at your own pace, in your own time? Knowing your own body and where all your "spots" are is paramount in ensuring you can guide a partner to your sexual satisfaction.
Is a using sex toy without your partner's knowledge cheating?
It all depends on how you define cheating. Absolutists would simply say yes but most of us are self-governing and in a democracy where freedom of expression reigns supreme. Using sex toys is one such form of this expression. As much as some of us name our toys and like to think of them as our best friends, they're inanimate - an aid to sexual fulfillment.
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Dr Kat Van Kirk, a licensed marriage and family therapist and resident relationship and sex expert at AdamandEve.com, said in a Psychology Today article, "The belief that using a sex toy means your partner isn't a good enough lover is one of the most common misconceptions people have about sex toys."
So no, there is no dishonour in using them without your partner's knowledge.
On the flip side…
So, there probably isn't a need to keep it from your partner - not if bomb sex is part of the plan.Based on a 2016 study conducted by Chapman University's David Frederick, women and men who reported using sex toys with their partners were satisfied with their relationship, and the sex with their partners.
According to sex therapist Ian Kerner in an article published in The Guardian, you must allow your partner to occasionally "drive", and explore and develop their own skills with the toy to make them feel more in control. "The best thing you can do is to treat sex toys as an ‘addition to intercourse', not as a replacement," Kerner concludes.
Expert's Tip: Using toys together will probably be the best thing you can do for the growth of your sexual relationship.
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