- If a picture is worth a thousand words, a profile photo is worth, well, hopefully at least a first date.
- Don't hide your accomplishments because if you speak confidently about yourself people will see you're a catch.
- In a time when everyone feels they have to share everything with everyone, there is a way to do mystery right.
It's your online handshake with a potential keeper. Do you want a wimpy, half-assed grab or, worse, a sweaty, lingering mess? Probably not. It takes as much time to wax your bikini line as it does to wax poetic, so spruce up your profile with these easy tips.
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Own up to your accomplishments
Ever heard someone say, "My job sounds cooler than it actually is", or "Sure, I look great now, but without these control-top leggings I'm so not feelin' it"? Even the most wonderful people can lack confidence, but learning how to sell yourself in your profile is essential. Don't ever be afraid to mention your impressive degree, your half-marathon personal best, the volunteer work you do or that award you once won. If you talk about yourself in a confident way, people will see you for who you really are: a catch.
Dress like you
If a picture is worth a thousand words, a profile photo is worth, well, hopefully at least a first date. We wish people didn't judge a book by its cover, but a cover is also how you tell the difference between War And Peace and a My Little Pony colouring book. While it's bad enough that someone swiping through a thousand photos will make an instant judgement based on how you're dressed in your photo, you'd be doing yourself a disservice if you try to pull off a look that just isn't you. So if you've got it, flaunt it, but you should know that the type of people you attract by posing in your undies are probably not the kind you'll want to actually date.
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Type like an adult
Too many laughing tongue face emojis, "hilar" or "LOL" and people will start wondering whether your spelling is really so bad that even your iPhone can't autocorrect you. There is no need to completely ban abbreviations from your profile. It's fine to shorten things every now and then, just as long as you don't go overboard. Best to try and use them in moderation if you can.
Show, don't tell
Instead of saying you're "into lots of different things", mention your love for quoting bits of trivia or your nervous habit of whistling the song "Stairway To Heaven". It's the same thing, but more colourful.
Ironically, it's hard to say "I'm a smart person" without sounding like an idiot. If you start breaking down the mathematical formulations of quantum mechanics, people are more inclined to believe you. You don't have to get into quantum physics but try an anecdote.
When in doubt about what the hell to write, go for humour. "Message me if you're Leonardo DiCaprio, or if you're going to change the world" is a line that we'll gladly let you borrow. It works.
Don't forget to tidy up
Take time to clean up spelling errors and punctuation - your profile isn't a text message to your best friend. You aren't hand-writing this thing! Spellcheck is most likely alerting you with little red dotted lines that something has gone horribly wrong. If the OCD part of your brain doesn't exactly motivate you to right click and fix it, then maybe use the part of your brain that really wants to meet someone great.
Try to keep the past in the past
Writing that you "just got out of a long-term relationship" doesn't just sound like you have a bit of emotional baggage, it sounds like you run the entire lost-luggage department for Qantas. It's good to be honest but save the "ex" convo for later. If you're genuinely over your ex (and ready to start dating again and swiping through a pool of potential suitors), don't bring your ex along to the party.
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How to say you just want to hook up
You need to be honest about your intentions if you're just looking to date and you don't want anything long term. But it's hard not to have your inbox flooded with creepers if you come right out and declare, "I'm just looking for casual sex and then I'll want you to exit my home immediately". If you don't want something that serious, say what everyone else who just wants sex says: "I'm just looking to have fun!"
Don't be embarrassed about all the swiping you're doing on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble... there's a reason why these are all very popular dating apps (hint: people actually use them). You're only offending potential dates by writing something in your profile such as, "I don't really use dating apps". This only makes you look like you think you're too cool for school.
You're not a secret agent
Whether you want to look at it this way or not, what you're putting together is like a dating application. Writing something like, "Message me to ask me about myself!" is a bit like writing, "Ask me in the interview where I went to uni!" on a job application. You're not adding an air of mystery here - you're being annoying, and you actually wind up looking lazy and uninterested. Either fill in this section or don't.
... But leave some mystery
There is a way to do mysterious right. In a time when everyone feels the need to share everything with everyone, it can be hard to retrain your brain to hold some info back. But let the person you're chatting to learn some stuff about you in person. If they already know your favourite childhood memory is eating chocolate-ripple cake, you won't get that serendipitous moment when he unknowingly makes you a choc-ripple cake (because he loves it too) and you suddenly know he's a keeper.
- Laura Lane and Angela Spera are the authors of This Is Why You're Single.
Credit: aremediasyndication.com.au/magazinefeatures.co.za
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