- The talking stage is a stage many struggle to get out of and into actual relationships.
- Situation-ships are the messy in-between stage where people often struggle to commit to each other.
- On and off as well as open relationships can sometimes be emotional rollercoasters.
When you meet someone you like, you expect things to flow naturally - talking, going on dates, making it official and eventually being in a relationship.
You might even daydream about the future - cute baby names, wedding photos and whether the in-laws will approve.
But, let's be real, dating in South Africa isn't always that straightforward.
Here's how it tends to go:
The 'shooting your shot' stage
You're scrolling on Instagram and a notification suddenly pops up. This person has viewed and liked most of your stories and they're now liking your posts - even ones from ages ago!
You think it's nothing until a DM pops up. Sometimes it's a simple 'hi' that kind of annoys you because you're wondering "Hi and then what?" or sometimes it's a heartfelt compliment.
Little conversations grow and then suddenly, you're talking to this person almost every day.
This, ladies and gentlemen, means the person took the chance and won.
The talking stage
Gone are the days when someone who liked you would kneel down to you, say your clan names in praise and sweep you off your feet! Our ancestors really had it good with all that effort.
These days? It's all about endless talking stages that may not even make it to a situation-ship - let alone a real relationship.
‘Indoda Must' Phrase:
The 'Indoda Must' phrase has been making waves on social media, sparking debates left, right and centre.
Red flags and Green flags:
When you're getting to know someone, you often notice little signs that can often make or break it for you.
A long pinky nail can sometimes be considered a red flag or sometimes clinginess can be considered a green flag to a certain extent.
Sometimes, girls love a good old simp!
READ MORE | Ashley Ogle on her romance with Sweet Guluva and lessons from BBMzansi
Women are calling out men for wanting to be pursued like 'princesses' instead of actually doing the chasing. Meanwhile, some men argue that they shouldn't have to chase at all, questioning women's value in their lives and pushing for 50/50 relationships.
This back-and-forth has fuelled the 'Indoda Must' mindset - the idea that a man must do certain things, like picking you up for dates, paying for your nails and generally proving his worth through material gestures.
If you're lucky enough, you get chased but if not? People can generally assume you have settled for someone.
Situation-ships
This is that messy in-between stage where you're kind of together but not officially dating.
It's the "he likes me but he is not ready to commit" or "we're not exclusive but I'm still loyal" type of situation. Maybe he's still healing from his ex, maybe he just enjoys the vibe without the labels - either way, it's complicated!
‘Friends with Benefits' Phrase:
Just like situation-ships, this is another we're together but not really together setup. You're seeing each other but there's no relationship - just vibes and late-night calls.
This is also where the whole 'sleeping with your male bestie' debates come in, leaving guys side-eyeing their girlfriend's male best friend.
READ MORE | Kay B finds umjolo after BBMzansi!
On and off relationships
This is a very toxic setup where two people can just never let go of each other.
From breaking up, making up, cheating and forgiving each other, people in these types of relationships go through a lot of back-and-forth.
Oftentimes, ex-partners feel like home or some people might even refer to it as a spiritual tie. Either way, these people tend to have a close connection with their ex-partners.
Pookie:
This is a cute phrase usually used by couples in love!
Whether you've recently started dating or you've been in a long-term relationship, this phrase is suitable for your partner!
Love Bombing:
Depending on your personality, this can either be the best or the worst for you!
This involves influencing another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection.
Open relationships
Not the most popular type and definitely one that gets the most side eyes. People either don't get it or just refuse to believe it can actually work.
Some say it's all about honesty and freedom, while others believe it's just a fancy way of settling. There's also the never-ending debate about whether it's the same as isithembu.
With all this back-and-forth, it's not a surprise that open-relationship couples are a rare sight.
Breadcrumbing:
A tactic that usually involves inconsistent communication, not following through on plans or surface-level communication. This is a manipulative tactic where someone gives another person just enough attention to keep them interested.
It usually doesn't even involve commitment because the person simply does not want to be committed to you.
Wrapping up the mjolo pandemic
So, which stage are you in?
Are you in the talking stage of getting to know someone or are you perhaps in a situation-ship?
Or have you genuinely met the other half of your heart?
