Rose, email
I'm 34 andpeople tell me I'm attractive, intelligent and nice to be with. But the problemis the men who ask me out don't ask me out a second time if I refuse to have sex with them on the first date.
They simplydrop me and move on. Am I being terriblyold- fashioned or what's going on?
DrLouise's advice
Thereappears to be an "instant generation"today, so called because many youngpeople want everything to happen instantly.
They'refocused on immediate gratification in almost every area of their lives.
So forexample they'd be inclined to rent afurnished flat instead of furnishing itthemselves.
And theywant to skip the "old-fashioned" step in relationships of first getting to knowthe other person before proceeding togreater intimacy. But there are things you miss out on when you skip this step.It's necessary if you want to build a good foundation, which is what's neededif you're thinking long term.
Arelationship based exclusively on sex collapses after a while because often the people involved have little else incommon. Not wanting to jump into bed with someone on the first date iswise - because what do you reallyknow about someone from one date?
You don'twant to rush into sex with someone you hardly know. What you need is to find men who have a similar mindset,men who are looking for more than short-term sexual gratification and also want a level of commitment.
The guyswho just want to jump into bed with youdon't realise they're forfeiting something special. The proverb "Fools rush inwhere angels fear to tread" still holds true.
Restassured, you'll find your angel in time,someone who'll be happy to take time to get to know you and for you to havetime to feel comfortable and safe with him before you commit to greater intimacy.
