I'm unsureof our future
Question
I'm a32-year-old woman and I'm in love with a foreign man. We've been dating on andoff for nine years - we broke up for two but then got back together. But ourrelationship is very difficult. It sounds like a bad thing to say because wetruly do love each other, but I'm worried about our future.
As aforeigner, he has no access to so many things. He can only do odd jobs and I'mafraid to have a child with him. I'm also scared he'll be forced to leave thecountry or want to go back to his home country one day - and then what willbecome of me?
Answer
Sometimeslove can come with impossible challenges. And making decisions based on lovinga person can also at times bring regret. Nine years is a long time to be withsomeone and it must be hard not being able to plan for the future because ofhis circumstances.
I suggestyou do everything you can to help him to get the right documents to be in thecountry legally, so you don't have to constantly worry about him beingdeported. You also need to talk to him about his plans and where yourrelationship is going. If you truly love him you should consider getting apassport and planning a visit to meet his family, so that you also know wherehe comes from.
PsychologyTodaysuggests that you should recognize that some conflict is part of anyrelationship, whether it's just minor things or even religious beliefs. What isimportant is how you both manoeuvre around the problem and find a common ground.
