Why doesn't he propose?
Question
I'm 28 and I've been dating this guy for three years. Ithink we're happy and good together, but the problem is he hasn't proposed tome. We've talked about getting married, but he always says he doesn't want toruin the good thing we have. I would like to get married and start a family,but I also don't want to put too much pressure on him. What should I do?
Answer
It seems your man is afraid of making a permanent commitment- why else would he say he doesn't want to ruin the good thing you have? Itimplies he views marriage as something that's not good and is instead somethingthat will change the way in which you relate to each other.
His fear might be coming from what he's seen or heard aboutmarriage and now he's wary of experiencing those things first-hand. All you cando is continue to show him how good you are together and that you're ready forthe next step in your relationship.
If the waiting becomes too much for you, then ask him abouthis intentions and how he sees your future together. If he isn't willing tolose you, he'll open up and talk to you about his fears so you can addressthem. One way of doing this would be to go for pre-marriage counselling. Suggestto him that you do so as a way to prepare for the future - his response willshow you exactly where he stands.
TheKnot.com advises that honest communication in a relationship the vital. Open up and communicate with your partner. Ifyou're ready for commitment, it does not necessarily mean that your partner isalso ready.
Marriage is a big step, be patient before your force him intosomething he is not ready for.
